Wednesday, 29 December 2010

The December

Herein, small shorts.

Heirloom shorts, you should know. They are a family legacy. (And this unintended pun has just increased their value).

I am happy to say that the conditions in this photo (viz. the vast amount of precipitation on the ground) have justified my main activities of the past month. These activities are, respectively, sitting on the sofa, eating, occasionally bathing, stretching, and eating. Port, Stilton, butter with a few pierogi on top, cream with a few drops of coffee, and also some gravy garnished with turkey.

I feel it is important to save my energy and maximize my body fat in order to establish a plentiful source of power and strength to draw from in the warmer months of 2011. So long as the world is made of ice for breaking one's bones on, I remain indoors as much as possible.

For your amusement: Gumby, Brain Specialist!

They sent me a "Shirt" for "Training"

I had no choice in the matter - it simply arrived in the post.

Perhaps the point of the enormous size is - because it's all about advertising -  to enable a person to pull the T-shirt over top of a winter snowsuit whilst skiing in the Alps, but I'm no skier, and I also have enough self respect and common sense to know that T-shirts don't belong on the outside of a snowsuit, tracksuit, or any sort of suit, jacket, or coat.

Something had to be done with this monstrosity.

Unfortunately, at the time of these photos it was already quite cold outside and my hands were numb by the time I'd finished shredding the thing. In order to have it visible at all, it can only be worn while I'm indoors on the hamster wheel.